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I am on a diet right now and I really try to get this to work.
But yesterday I couldn't hold my hunger anymore. I ate all the unhealthy stuff I tried to avoid in a month.
Now I have constipation because my stomach isn't used to this kind of food anymore.
Me and my boyfriend tried to lose some weight in the last couple of months. Together we weigh around 450 to 500 pounds. We registered at the gym together and started changing our diet. It was a miserable experience for me!!!
I couldn't lose weight although I tried so hard. I cut out carbs and stuff and only ate a pizza or a burger once or twice a week on my lunchbreak from work.He on the other hand started to lose weight rather quickly and he enjoyed it! It's just so unfair!!!I thought about sabotaging him and maybe put sugar in his detox teas or something along those lines..
.I just hate seeing him so happy while I am so miserable...
#hate #jealousy #fat #overweight #gym #sport #diet #eating #food #confession #sugar #carbs #why
I wasn't exactly sure what category to put this under.
I have sort of a rape fantasy about some tall, powerful Chechen militant with long hair (one in particular I saw on google images) and I am ashamed of it but every time I think about it I get super hot and bothered.
I just want him to dominate me, whisper dirty things in my ear in Russian, claim me as his property, abuse me, love on me etc.
God, I need to get laid lol
I hate myself. I just genuinely want to die a quick and painless death so I wouldn't have to suffer on this god forsaken planet anymore.
Hii reader I don’t know why what I am doing I am getting angry day by day I lost my tolerance today I hit my older sister and say many bad words to her and I have also fought with my mom I am really feeling bad what should I do I want to die but god is not listening I am not getting love my mom used to tell me tution fee cost which I feel bad that she is showing that what she is doing she is unique I am damn sure that not other mother do this thing..I am also praying that my crush loves me back..but he is 9 years older than me what should I do.
as far as I am concerned, how I see a lot of these pathetic slimey famous young people, but most of them are creepy ugly, poorly minded and lacking in values and manners. Most of the people you see famous are literally gay. Shame filled up secrets would shock us all from them. Most of them are dirty deviant sick pathetic people. I look at all the royals and prince andrew literally personifies that sick pathetic image of the rich white fat trashy titled freaks. Kate and William and Harry and Meghan look like goofs and whiney germy tardbark tryhards. If they could see how they really look to most when you remove all the gloss of rainbowland you get drainbow and that is how they make you feel. You don't feel uplifted seeing them sucking off the poor and sucking off the earth. They are more retarto- farto then they think they are. SLIMEY looking. SLIMEY acting just like meghan or andrew. creepy slimey to be straight with you. That is all you get now from the world. You look around and its all gay fake asses with KIDOS, not kids, not children but the new words is KIDOS, KIDO-DIDOs. all they do is O's! hahaha. They are the real nobodies who deserve nothing just only them that have not worked that out yet! the world is laughing at them. That fake ass so extra, behavior and rich trashiness and sick toxic minds. There is no hope for them at all and god knows it!!!!
So I'm f14 and in my year (grade) all the rates (popular) boys are friends with each other and they're really dirty. And since I've got back to school they've been talking to me. I've got compliments on how my breast are big and I'm thicc and have a nice ass. Which I find quite funny lol. Anyways I'm really friends with one of them. Let's call him jay. We're just friends and our relationship is quite weird. He thinks I'm gonna give him a bj on his birthday. last week he grinder his dick on me in class when I bent over which caught me off guard. Anyways I sit next to jay in some classes. And in science we sit at the back. And we were talking and I was laughing then out of no where I put my hand on his upper thigh and he literally tenses up and I can see I did something so I pull back and I think I blushed over too much. He just laughs off and then he does it back. But as his hand is on my thigh he moves it upwards near to where my pussy is (yeah). We wear uniform and I had pants on but they're like tight pants so you can see shape and outlines of everything. And I'm completely frozen. Then he starts rubbing my 😏 yeah that. And then he's unzipping my pants. (Remember were in class) so I wake up to reality and I move his hand away and say "wyd we're in class" and he's the type of person who does give a fuck about anything so he says "and" so I make up that I'm on my period so he's like "why don't we finish off what you started on Wednesday then" which is the day where I get off my "period" which is also tomorrow. So I'm like yea sureeee. And he's been really on me ever since. So like I've never had a dick inside me so I don't know what's gonna happen tomorrow. But pray for me? 😂😚 I forgot to mention but he also told me he had a dream about me. "I was naked in bed and then you came and undressed and then got in and then idk what happened next" is exactly what he said. I thought was funny LOLLL but I'd be lying if I said I didn't dream about him either a few days before that.
#highschool #friendswithbenefits #lust #boys #crush #bitchsavemebeforeidie
My sister has made me cry so much in the pass two days, we are on vacation and it’s supposed to be fun. I am so miserable she used to be very verbally and mentally and physically abusive my mom has never cared. I just want to kill myself and I want her to know it’s her fault, I want her to hurt for the rest of her life how she has made me hurt. I can’t stand being alive. I just wanna die. Like today we were somewhere and she walked ahead of me and my other sister and then started screaming at me over the phone then says “I’m gonna beat you keep you attitude up.” Then says “I’m gonna smack the shit out of you” And it made me cry in public because I thought she was gonna hit me, and her hits really hurt. She said “sorry I love you bye” and then I said “alright bye” then she said “your a fucking bitch”
i dont know why i am living in this world.Sometimes i feel to suscide.whenever i do something i only get caught everytime.I use to see my classmates bunking college every friday as we use to come out frim college to school but once i thought of bunking.i left the school but told my grandma i will be coming home as i am having fever (although its a lie) i came out prayed and thought to go and play csgo (a game of steam) it took me1 hour to play it and left home but when i came home the school mentor called at home saying rayyan is not at home.now you what happened to me
Kong Skull Island. You ever wonder what the message is? To me this movie was about the Vietnam War. Shows our military as bad. I say bullshit. Communism was invading the country. We fought its spread.
I could be wrong of course, but let’s compare quality of life. My family fought in Korea. I’ll grant you most young South Koreans oppose our presence there now, and don’t appreciate that our families risked death for them. But in North Korea they execute or slave labor people over hair cuts and listening to kid pop. Would you rather live in North or South Korea?
In WWII Japan attacked us. You could argue Germany did not. I’ll give you that. But have you considered the weapons they were creating? They are why there was a future space race. Then there’s the death camps. And socialist USSR was heading for them & the rest of West Europe.
Would you rather live in West Germany, or what used to be the east? Would you rather live in Japan or China? Go look up Tinnamon Square. They killed unarmed protestors. Drove over them till they were paste. Washed them down the drain. In socialism there’s a ruling elite class with corruption and absolute power. Everyone else is a slave.
Our media showed non combatants what war truly is. It’s horrible.
On the plus side, Vietnam got to choose its own path long term. Whatever it is now is what it wanted to be.
The Middle East. Terror cowardice forced us into that. 9/11. They wanted to pretend to be tough while fighting in cowardly ways. So we went and smacked the terrorists around in their sand box. If they were men; they’d put on uniforms and fight on a field of battle. Instead they fight like cowards. Attacking women and children intentionally is cowardly. Real men only fight men.
I do wonder why we are pulling out of Afghanistan. Not saying it’s wrong. But think about it. We still have bases where we’ve fought wars. Germany; Japan; South Korea, and Cuba (Spanish American War). So why are we leaving the Middle East? IMO that will leave the people there who want hope all alone. I hope we at least intend to still help arm anyone who will fight for freedom.
So I liked Skull Island, but our military was there because our leaders sent them. We elect our leaders. Who actually started the build up in Nam? Kennedy. That’s right. Camelot ramped up our involvement. Then his VP; LBJ, took it to the next level.
Oddly, it was Nixon who ended the war.
I guess it just annoys me our military was portrayed poorly in Skull Island. Someone I loved went to that war. It caused their death.
So if you served and fought in combat you earned the right to be critical of our military. Otherwise you have not.
I’ll give America credit. Both parties and most civilians have rallied around our troops this time.
It’s funny, I went to help fix my ex wife’s house. I’m old and disabled. Her neighbor is a wounded vet. I saw he had to pay people to fix stuff for him.
I saw a pile of heavy limbs in his yard. I drug them to the road for him. You know he was puzzled watching an old person dragging off his limbs. Thank you for your service.
Oh. My sin is i trespassed minimally.
I feel the urge to hurt someone. And I don't mean a punch in the face but really HURT somebody. I don't know where this urge comes from but I often dream about breaking someone's fingers one by one. It doesn't turn me on or anything, it's more like a hunger inside of me, I just want to do this. They shouldn't die but they really should feel the pain, I want to hear them scream.
I would hurt every person but preferable female.
I tried to kill my cat several times now.
Tried to run her over.
Tried to drown her.
Tried to starve her.
Nothing's working, I don't understand that.
Now a friend of mine told me that it's reprehensible to torture an animal like that but I don't agree with him. It's just an animal, not a human being.
But it kept me thinking, is my behavior bad?
I don't think so..
I always have the desire to do something stupid to make myself look brave. I don't know how that started, but I soon noticed that I got the attention I need by doing something reckless and stupid. Last week, I jumped in front of a moving car to save a small frog and I was almost hit. The driver of the car couldn't believe how stupid I acted because I didn't want to apologize for it. Two months ago, I jumped into a lake near my hometown, even though I can't swim. I just need the adrenaline and I need the attention.It's like an addiction and I know, someday, maybe tomorrow, maybe next week, I going to die because of it.
#audacity #bravery #stupid #die #confession #offmychest #swimming
I very good friend of mine died at the age of 18, I was 17 to that time. I got a condolence card and everyone at my school, students and teachers, signed it. But I forgot to send it, today I found it in my messy room.
I feel terrible...
#friend #death #die #condolescence #card
I am 14, I have a fairly flat chest and a bubble butt, and constantly get teased about it. One day, walking home from school, (my parents were out of town at the time, with a baby sitter watching me) I took a right to a shortcut in a wooded area, hoping it was quicker. I hadn't realized there were a group of girls (all older than me, bigger and more developed, too) had been waiting for me there, with a small gathering of other students of various ages (some younger, some similar ages to the girls and i) waiting to see what the girls would deem "my punishment." Two girls jumped out and grabbed me, one on each arm, and stripped off my backpack. "Welcome!" Another had said. "Today you will be punished!" "You're always such a posh bitch, pushing people around, flaunting your bubble butt, we decided to teach you a lesson!" She announced, with cheering and clapping from the crowd. I'd been wearing a school uniform white blouse, with a long navy blue skirt, pleated and high waisted. I wore black Mary Jane shoes and white tights with high waisted cotton granny panties with "diva" written all over them. Immediately, I was pinned down onto the forest floor on my back, and felt a tug on my skirt. "No!" I yelled, squirming. "Oh, would you rather do it yourself? Strip your little skirt and leggings off, you can keep the shoes if you want." One girl explained, taking out a camcorder and filming me, another girl ready to take pictures. I relented, "Fine." Thinking that was all I'd have to strip off. The two girls holding me down released me, glancing at me with a warning look not to run. I stood up, with the crowd lookin at me with anticipation. I began to unzip the side of my skirt, slipping out of it and handing it over to a waiting hand. Blushing tremendously, I stepped out of my shoes and hesitated with the edge of my leggings. "Do they HAVE to come off?" I asked. "Yep, now hurry, show us your panties." The girl responded. Finally, I pulled them off, stepping out of those as well, humiliated with my diva panties on show, bunched up around my hips. I pulled them all the way up in order to cover myself more, the waistband going halfway up my back and almost to the edge of my small breasts. Everyone was watching, laughing and snapping pictures. I was ordered to put my hand on my head and twirl around, showing off my panties. "Now take off your blouse for us, you'll do it or these pictures will be everywhere." The lead girl warned. Slowly, i unbuttoned my blouse and took that off as well. "And the bra! We know you barely have breasts anyway." I unclasped my bra from behind and let it drop, allowing it to be taken with the rest of my clothes. Again I was made to twirl around for everyone to see the high waisted panties. I was allowed to keep my shoes still. I only had my undies and shoes left. "Think those undies could go any higher, diva?" A girl had asked. "No, I don't think so..." I replied, confused. Suddenly, I was pinned to the floor face-first, with girls holding my arms above me, spread apart, and my legs spread apart too. "These are snug on your butt, huh?" The lead girl teased, playing with the waistband, groping my ass to further humiliate me. Then she pulled the waistband up, giving me a wedgie and exposing my bubble butt to the chilly wind. She gave two small tugs, then pulled up my underwear a bit more all around, so they weren't bunched up. She gave my butt a playful smack and allowed me to get up. "Don't pick your underwear." Then she took more pictures, directing me to hold my waistband up, so it would look like I gave myself the wedgie, taking more pictures. "You're free to go now." "Can I have my stuff back?" "No, you ungrateful brat. And don't pick your wedgie! I wanna see you walk home with your ads hanging out. You have undies and shoes, you can walk home." "No, please! Don't make me walk home like this!!" "Would you rather do it naked?" She offered. I sighed, "No..." "And we'll be right behind you! So don't think you can cover yourself and pick your wedgie!" "Wait, one more thing before you go! Say you love being in a wedgie and wear only undies and shoes! And smile for the camera!" "I love wedgies and wearing embarrassing undies and shoes, it's my favorite outfit." I said, begrudgingly. I ended up having cars honk and people come up to me to take pictures, slap my ass, or hoot as I passed by on my way home. I made it home, where my babysitter laughed at me and forced me to stay in my undies and only allowed me to wear undies and shoes for the rest of the time my parents were gone, following the girl's instructions given to them. They laughed at my humiliation and gave me wedgies too.
#wedgies #wedgie #embarrassing #humiliating #embarrassment #humiliation #diva #panties #undies
I do not know what to do and I feel so guilty right now. My mother passed away in 2011 and I held her in my arms when she died. After the funeral, the rumours started. Even my sister, who is now not a part of my life anymore because I cut her out, accused me of killing our mother. This was especially hard for me. And now, 8 years later, I still have to listen to those accusations. They say that I treated my mother badly and that I had hit her. I have to disagree. No, I did not! I never hit my mom, but I of course was not the picture perfect son. I made mistakes and I am very sorry for them. I do not pray as often as others might do, but I think about mom all the time. I look after my mother's grave and bring flowers regularly and when I am there I am talking to her and asking her for forgiveness for all the mistakes I made.
Do you think she can hear me?
I think I might be a murderer after all... Am I a bad person? I start to think that I am. I would like to apologize here once more for how I treated my mother some times. I was a teenager and had my own head. I asked for her forgiveness, but is that enough?
Shortly after she died she visited me in my dreams, but now everything is empty. There are only nightmares.
But I will try to get better. To get a better person.
I promise, Mom.
xx
#mom #deceased #died #mother #grave #murderer #sister #empty #lonely #confession #forgiveness #guilty #bad #person
im tired being bullied and bodyshaming everyday can i just leave this earth please i just want to fucking die please. I have no one anymore to vent and i really want to be loved no one cares about me though (sorry bad grammars).
#bodyshaming #beingugly #die #kys #irwtkms
Back then when I was an soldier in Germany, I was pretty drunk and I puked into sink in the barracks.
Something blocked the sink and my "legacy" couldn't disappear. The next day, some of my buddies had to clean it up and I didn't tell him that this was my mess.
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