Defeated Confessions

I was a good person. I helped many people. I literally saved lives. But I failed my wife and children. I failed because I’m disabled and have a terrible disease. As a child my parents hated me for being disabled. So they gave me away. I was broken thru horrible things done to me. I cannot fix myself. I am lost. But I will still try to help those I love as I fade away. I can’t beat an unbeatable disease forever. Tried to give all I had. It just wasn’t enough. Love is not enough. Life isn’t a movie with happy endings.

#tired   #defeated   #disease   #disabled   #disabilty  

Painful truths.
1) No matter how much you love another; it’s a near certainty that at some point they will stop loving you. Humans needed marriage in the past. In today’s world it’s an illusion sold to us in movies. Better to stay single; focus all your energy on your own happiness; get neutered, & let go.
2) pain is a certainty. You will fail your children. No matter how hard you try, you will almost certainly fail.
3) the universe does not need humans to explore it. We are meaningless.
4) God will let the most innocent here suffer. That’s a harsh reality. Churches primarily only care about people who can benefit the Church. The rich donor matters. You do not.
5) I usually try to be positive. But sometimes we have to accept the truth.
6) I was a great person and father till sickness took it all.
7) I decided not to have children when I got sick. My wife begged me too. Love is not enough. They say it is. But it’s not. One day disease will take you. When it does who will care for your loved ones?
8) I would never undo my choices now. But my parents gave me away because I was broken. Why didn’t I listen to them? They were right. I am a failure. I’m just not enough. I was never enough. It hurts to know you gave it every thing you had, and it wasn’t close to enough.

#defeated