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I am a 26 y/o bisexual female living in the Bible Belt. I've always been equally attracted to both genders. However, I've never acted on any of my female attractions or told anyone about them. I am currently in a 7 year hetero relationship w/ my boyfriend. I love him so much, but I'm falling for another woman. I don't know what to do. I drink alone until I become numb, and the apathy sets in. It's gotten so bad that the numbness, the apathy has taken over my sober hours as well. What the fuck am I supposed to do?
Hearing the phone ring gives me anxiety because no one has ever called me for friendly reasons. When I don't answer the phone it just seems to make problems worse. I don't even want to check the voicemails.
I'm 20 years old and is in a relationship for 5 years. Yup, you've read it right. I was in 4th yr high school when we started our relationship and was able survive college together. Only my closest friends knows about this- not all, actually. Only those "trusted" friends, and those whom I am with in the same situation (bisexual friends). I am a closet bisexual (to selected people, i guess?). My parents doesn't know about this. It's so hard for me, for us, to live normally as a couple. To my friends who doesn't know yet, I'm afraid of how they'll judge me. To my relatives, I'm afraid to what they'll react because I know they will all be against me. I wanted to pursue our relationship as long as we still both could fight for it. We've been hiding this to some people for 5 years already. Tho this situation made us even stronger, I always have this hope that someday, I'll be out and be able to live as how normal couple do in public; without any judgement at all. Though I embrace the fact that I'm a bisexual, it's really hard to live as one in this judgmental society. Anyway, above all these cowardice, I'll still pursue to what we've started as lovers and will still be hoping that someday I could hold her hands in public, kiss her, and be proud and brave enough to tell all the people that she's mine!
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