Bulimia Confessions

When I was 15 I was diagnosed with Anorexia after taking a really bad mental fall. It's been many years later and I never fully recovered, but I find myself constantly restricting and vomiting, and always feeling disgusted with myself. I have a 19.7 BMI, but it's not good enough. I really want to get underweight to prove to others that I am skinny, I am in control, I want to scare people, I find a numbing feeling that comes with this, and I love it.

Of course, the side effects of the disease is wretched and I think of how lovely recovery would be. I'm not here to get hate, Im just here to confess. I already seek therapy.

#eatingdisorder   #ed   #mentalhealth   #bulimia   #anorexia