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Roommates have lots of pets. They fight. Bark. Hiss. Tear up. Only one is clean and doesn’t smell like litter box. I have two great fine tuned squirt bottles. The cats get wet face. I’ll hunt them. They even look at my room. Squirt. The dogs get it easier and harder when owners are gone. Special mix of powder and water. Itches. Burns a little. Like when yuh used to prank friends with itching powder. They come home or wake up & a dog is whining and scratching. Whatever.
They mostly steer clear of my room.
Sounds mean? I hear them yelling and cussing. That dog bit me. It ate my shoe. It drug the ham off the table. The cats in the food. It got litter on the food. It chewed a hole in the cushion. It tore up my new shirt. Damn it. Don’t scratch. Get your muddy feet off my dress. I have a date. Now I’ve got to change.
Those damn dogs woke me up all night. I have to goto work. Your dog shit on my carpet.
Help me get the dog. It’s chasing a car. It’s in the neighbors yard barking at 2am. The neighbors cussed me out.
They talk to the animals like humans. Mr shit please get down. That’s the dog that eats shit. There’s a black cat named......black cat.
Mr shit; please quit eating shit.
Here’s a hint. They don’t speak English. However; they do learn that getting in my room makes their nose burn and itch.
Oh Mr shit. What’s wrong. Come see moma mr shit. You wanna go for a ride mr shit.
I love to hear them wonder. You ever notice mr shit doesn’t try to get in his room. I know. He got in my room last night and got in my bed. He stinks. Now my sheets smell like wet dog shit.
I’m not sure how to train the females to quit walking in when I’m nude. Or to get them to wear at least underwear. But I have got the zoo animals under some control.
I have been messing with people. But am i wrong? I never put it all together till recently. For at least 20 yrs i´ve had random people approach me & say I'm a Star Child; nordic alien; descended from egyptian pharoah; weird stuff. My dad actually rejected me because i had blond hair & strange eyes at birth.
Now I'll admit; i have some odditys that are hard to explain, but can be explained scientifically. My eyes: they are very rare & beautiful. My entire life people notice them. Ive been told they are magic, star eyes, etc. Ive had people ask if i can see the future; turn into a werewolf; etc. No; i can not. They are just unique eyes that collect extra light & seem to change colors & glow to some people in some situations. They do help me see better in near darkness than most people can. But give me headaches in bright light; so you don't want them.
Yes; a lot more butterflies used to land on me than most; but thats just because i emit a sweet smell when i sweat; & i sweat a lot. They can detect the smell & extra salt. They land on me for salt.
A lot of birds land on me. I have a very large (Gene Simmons) tounge that can bend in any direction. I'm good at mimicking animal sounds such as birds. Like a duck call works on mallards; my calls works on some birds. Yes; some uncalled birds have landed on me; i think i release an unusual pharamone when i sweat. It seems to attract nice animals. But its also my sweet demeanor. I release pharamones more than normal and they react.
When aggressive animals get near i get aggressive. My muscles start swelling up. My adreniline flies up like someone on steriods. That must cause different pharamone releases that threaten animals. I'm built like a gorilla. I get into combat mode. As a boy a large dog tried to attack me. I messed it up bad. It left missing stuff. So animals pick up on that if aggressive. A 270 muscle man can scare many animals. But not say a bear.
Yes; i had a photographic memory; was tested a genius unofficially twice; & autistic. That doesn't make me alien or magical, just smart.
Yes; a lot of women like me & ask me out. I used to look like a movie star; was built like a super hero; dressed well; drove cool cars; wore good cologne; am well endowed; am very sweet but scare other men; am protective of females & kids; & prefer to hang out with females. I'm what women wish they had in many cases. Not an alien.
So why mess with people on some sites? I'm hoping to help them. If you believe in fake stuff & it brings you happiness then thats fine; but if it hurts you then you need kindness to help you get over it.
#alien #magic #signs #birds #butterflys
My confession is... I have lots of sleepover... Not only that but I'm an early bird and night owl (Means I wake up early and sleep late) so i don't can easily stay awake all night which u always so cos I don't like sleeping infront of other ppls families etc... But, they are neither, they go to sleep at 7pm and wake up at 11/12 in the morning... The entire family does..
My curiosity is... How can u sleep that long, even with school starting again soon?
29/08/16 (school starts 05/09/16)
Yesterday, someone parked in my driveway. My neighbours celebrated their marriage or something like that.
I was so pissed of that I put bird seed on the car, shortly afterwards, a dozen doves were sitting (and shitting) on the car, picking for the seed, making huge scratches in the car. It was great!
#parking #driveway #neighbours #celebration #marriage #bird #seed #revenge
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