Acting Confessions

I’m a failed movie star. Well a failed movie didn’t star. I thought my first big break was going to be in the original Star Wars. George Lucas tried to cast me as Luke Skywalker. But when we got done the movie was only 8 minutes long, and 7 of those was the opening credits.
So George next tried to make me a Storm Trooper; but then the movie only lasted 6 minutes, and Mr. Lucas wasn’t sure if the audience would want to see a Storm Trooper beat Luke; Obi Wan; Darth Vader, and blow up the Death Star with a single shot from his laser cannon.
I recently tried to revive my failed career. A friend told me to meet a director in the ocean. So I went to the dock, and got on a big yacht rigged for heavy fishing. The type they use to catch marlins and large sharks.
Well we get out there and find out we have to wait. The director would fly in a helicopter later and land on the deck.
Well I love to fish. So I broke out a rod and got it wet. Maybe 5 minutes later I had a bite. Hugh fish. Well I reeled it in. Gutted and cooked it. Then I ate the big fish with some chips.
About that time the director lands and jumps out of the copter. He runs over yelling at me. “What have you done, you just ate the star of my movie”. I said what, it’s just a fish. He replied “that’s no fish, that’s my Meg”.

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