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I have never in my life, wanted to kill myself more than right now. I know it sounds crazy but I cannot take my parents anymore. I cry every single time in the shower and I try to put on a strong face at school. But no one knows what really is inside of me. Maybe the problem is me. Maybe it’s them. But sometimes you just can’t stand it anymore. I have tried to do everything to please myself and them. After years of getting hit, getting pushed around, verbally abuse, and so many more emotional scars on me, I have now turned… suicidal. It seems like a better place than this hell hole. If I sound selfish and unappreciative, well, I’m sorry. But… if I have to keep living like this, I rather choose a place where I am not living anymore. There may be no physical evidence of what my parents did to me, but inside, it is years of ripped, raw emotions that have been finally triggered. I know that one day, possibly this year, my mom and I will have an argument that we will say something that we could NEVER go back from. If that day comes, I would like to keep this doc as me already predicting this. I just wish the best for them if I do leave this Earth like this. I have an ocean of bottled up emotions that has been building and building for the last few years. I can’t say anything and so instead, my eyes show the signs. I looked at my razor yesterday and wondered what it would be like to cut myself. My rational side yelled and pleaded with me to not do it, but my heart said to do it…. And I just couldn’t. People say that cutting yourself may help you find control of the one thing you have. Yourself. But I just couldn’t. I figured later, right now, that I would rather just stick a freaking knife into my chest and be done for. That sounds much quicker than bleeding out. I’ve read too many romance stories and been around too much success stories. I want to become a female version of a powerful CEO, but also an Oscar-winning producer at the same time. But life never goes my way. You have to try and achieve it. I had it all planned out. I was going to go to Harvard and graduate, marry my high school sweetheart and have a boy and a girl. But life is also unfair. It never told me how I would get screamed at for one bad test grade, but an A overall. It never told me that I would get hit for saying something out of context. Maybe that is how life works. But when it gets too much, you want it to be over. And so, I hope that when this comes out, I want all parents that have hit their children for a bad grade, a remark, a bad habit, to rethink your choices. You have no idea what you are putting us through. Years and years and YEARS of abuse, and it is not just physical. What goes underneath hurts more than 100 physical scars and some may never heal.
I'm 21 years old now. I live in India.
When I was 11 years old, my neighbor (a gay - 19 years old then) made me suck his cock & he sucked mine. I started avoiding him from that day. I saw him again after 3 days. I gave him an angry stare. He left me alone after that owing to the fact that my dad is a powerful guy & if he knew the abusers life will be over.
I read in many articles that people abused as kids will hate sex/gays etc. But I don't hate them, I support LGBT & I am straight. The incident never affected me. (Except I learnt karate & silambam - a South Indian martial arts using sticks. I learnt them when I was 13 like crazy until I was sure I could take on atleast 6 guys alone, so I could destroy him when time comes. But I gave up the idea as years passed.)
He is married now (an arranged marriage - poor woman).
I am a engineer by profession & a researcher in my free time. My inner conscience forgave him. I hope he never cross my life again. If he does, that will be the biggest mistake of his life.
Even though I'm surrounded by people and I'm enjoying myself, I still feel lonely and sad. I don't enjoy being alive and I feel like a husk of what I could be.
I've always felt this way, but I wake up each time I lose someone I love more than anything. Someone I dedicate my life to amd it somehow still isn't enough. Since I've given my heart away to people who just shattered it over and over, I'm a deeply troubled person.
Every night it's a battle to go to sleep, because I don't have someone to take care of me and make me feel better from all the people who hurt me and made me this way. I want vengeance on them for doing this to me, but I can't do anything about it.
So many people have harmed me both physically and emotionally, and all I ever want is someone who can help me heal from all of that. Someone I can dedicate my life to and feel appreciated and loved.
It hurts being alone, being treated this way over and over with only false hope to look up to.
#loneliness #suicidal #existentialism #sadness #pessimism #abuse
I was a little girl about 7 and my drunk dad came in the room i was sleeping in and made my F*** a D** while making my sister watch. i can't move passed it cause everyone in my school heard rumors and think i'm so disgusting they don't even talk to me or treat me like a person anymore. I live in an apartment; very seldom do i leave and when i do i have to go 80 miles at least where people don't know me. I feel very unclean and undeserving of love since i lost my virginity to a D**, I feel beyond damaged
I can't tell if I'm a masochist because I like the pain in a sexual way or because I think I deserve it for being a horrible person in my own head. There is this guy I like and we have had sex a couple times, he's really awesome and super attractive, which makes me feel like I don't deserve him.
Whenever we get into it he is always asking "Is this okay?" and says things like, "Let me know if this is too much." I tell him I'll let him know.... but I don't think I ever would and I think maybe he knows that, because he hasn't really done anything super intense. He has pulled my hair a couple of times, spanked me... bitten me lightly.... but he could get away with so much more. I would let him beat the shit out of me if he just promised to love me. He wouldn't even have to be faithful and I would probably still want him around. I just don't want to be alone, but I don't want to be with someone who is unattractive either.
#depression #love #abuse #masochism #mental #health #lonelyness
my report card came out a month ago and my dad is still mad at me. he emotionally abuses me by calling me names and insults. i’m 16. the fact that i am scared of him, scared to explain myself is frustrating me. i got 2As, 3Bs, and 3Cs. my school’s grade boundaries go down to a U. i thought i did pretty well until my dad screamed at me about it; how i was a “lazy bitch” and how i “don’t deserve anything.” until this day he still says that i am useless and scolds me. last night, he told my mom that he was sending me to public school and that that was that. i was devastated. this is my last year. i can’t just be pulled out and put into a school with a different system. he isn’t giving me a chance. he doesn’t trust me. that breaks my heart that no one in my house trusts that if given this last chance, i can get better grades. i hate to be constantly screamed at and insulted at. i hate that my dad screams at me for every single small mistake i do. my dad never lets me turn the ac at night. last night i was sleeping with my grandparents and they had told me that they wanted the ac turned on. so i did. this morning my dad had lashed out at me for wasting electricity by turning it on. my mom came in defense of me and explained that my grandparents had wanted it turned on. he stormed off and left. i want to run away. i’m 16 and there’s a certain extent to how much i can sustain myself. what do i do?
Some of you people are gross for wanting to sleep with blood relatives or parents and their children. Go get therapy. You are f- up in the head. There are 1001 people in the sea. Don’t disgrace and dishonor your family. It is wrong. Your soul will go to hell for it.
this is not a sin on my end, but it is something that i desperately need off my chest. my ex-girlfriend verbally/emotionally and sexually abused me. occasionally it was consensual (kissing etc), but she would make me do things i would never do (i am asexual). she told me that if i told her to stop one more time she’d tell everyone i was nothing but a put out, for attention. she would yell at me, and if i didn’t cry, she’d cheat on me. she cheated on me constantly, and never let me get angry, for if i did she would hurt me. i was too afraid to break up with her, but once i did, things got worse. i admitted to one of her friends what had happened, but he told me i was making it up. i was just trying to get her in trouble, i was just trying to play victim. now my ptsd is worse than it has ever been. i don’t know what to do now. she is trying to ruin my life.
All those hurtful things you did to me, changed me for the better. All the names you called me and the terrible things you said. It made me rise up and I became better than you. I’m the better person. And I won. You think you won because I walked away, but I walked away so it didn’t get worse. And. I don’t love you either. I can’t stand you. You’re a terrible man and you know it.
I am going out of my mind trying to find anyone interested in keeping me in a strong, rubber-lined bag, for long periods of time. Age, gender, appearance, unimportant - they need only to be dominant, sadistic, cruel, merciless, and preferably very horny! There is a small zippered opening at my mouth, for fellatio, and another one lower down where my goodies can be pulled outside and snugged round the roots. Willing and able to give virtually unlimited fellatio, and open to cbt, milking, orgasm denial or delay, rape, you name it! Group, couple, single, TV, Cross-dresser, whatever. The longest I have been confined so far is a 3-day weekend, but I think my limits are probably higher than that, with the right person(s) You would think SOMEONE would realize the possibilities/opportunities in a situation like this, but so far no takers! Help!!
My mother has always hit me if i did something wrong she would yell and scream at me for hours if i talked back or did yell back she wouldnt talk back to me for hours maybe days once she was mad she threw a hammer at my leg i had to walk to school i texted her saying sorry yet she didnt care any time my brother does something wrong i always have to sorry the only thing that helps me through this is playing video games and when i play she gets mad at me so i lock the room to be alone dreaming of dying
I beat my girlfriend more than a few times. She didn’t deserve it, and I’m sorry for any unhappiness or feelings that it may have caused her.
I found out that my friend's dad is a real asshole. All he does is rage on for no reason. He will be arrested.
I hate my father and my sister my father would tell both of us he would spank us if we got out if bed my sister did this several times and git nithing I did this once and got a belt he was also very abusive as a result I am a very hatful and angry person I am told I have issues j don't know what to do the smallest things make me lash out and scream once I even got my brother with a socket wrench
My first day of kindergarten, my teacher Mr.Joel says "Alright we are going on a field trip to the national park ,so I need a girls to board the bus first then boys!"
I wasn't paying attention and I got on the bus first. Mr Joel approached me and sarcastically ask."Excuse me Gregory, are you a girl or boy? "I don't know I said". That moment , that question confused the fuck out of me for the rest of my life. I mean i have a penis but I don't like to look at it because it looks icky. My mom was shitting on the toilet and I was standing in the doorway naked when I was 3 years old telling her I pooped my diaper and all she said was ah fuck not again just like fucking father and she slammed the door and my penis got caught in between it. I screamed and my neighbors took me to the hospital because my mother refused to drive drunk and high. The doctors put ice on it and sent me home. But by the time we got home my mom was asleep so my neighbors made me sleep when there son picaru was two years older the me. I didn't sleep Much that night cause picaru kept sticking Lego's and a hot wheels cars up my butthole and he would tie string around my injured penis and attach to a fishing rod and he would yank hard and reel it up until the line broke. Everytime I screamed he told his parents I was having bad dreams so his dad took off my clothes and laid me on his lap in the living room while we both watched the entire Andy Griffith show season one all night. He didn't molest me or assault me but he did kiss me on the lips a lot and call me 'judy Ann' and 'honey' a lot. Judy Ann was his dead wife's name.fucked up part is the when he drove me to the hospital he hit my dog spider and he promised he would check on him once we got back. I never saw spider again :(.
#death #assault #abandoned #injury #abuse #drugs #trauma #transgender
I am with my boyfriend whose tried to kill himself three times, I love him but I also want to leave him because I feel like I'm trapped. But I know if I leave he will kill himself. I'm so scared but I don't know what else to do because I value his life and I love him.
I'm a fit guy in my mid forties and I take photos for a living. I've confessed here before about my sins, but this happened to me when I was in my early twenties and still living at home and trying to make a go of being a wedding and portrait photographer.
The family next door were from Sri Lanka, well the dad was, the Mum was English, but had met him there. They had four daughters, three stunners and one fat ugly one. She must've felt shit. Anyway, they had grown up while I'd lived there. The fat one had left home to go to university and next eldest was on a years trip back to the traditional family home in Sri Lanka. That left the 15year old and the 12year old to pretty much fend for themselves that summer. They took to sunbathing in the garden and as our houses are big Victorian places if I looked out of the rear attic windows (where my half-arsed photo studio was) I could spy on them,
One day, it was really hot, they were sunning themselves topless. Spying on them got me really horny and I couldn't help but play with my big cock as I watched. I had to get a closer look and ventured into the garden, pretending to water the plants. I worked out a lot then, so I looked good, and I was only wearing shorts. I was freshly shaved (I shaved all my chest hair then, but don't now). Pretending to be absently minding only my business I stepped onto the rear patio and peered over, as if by accident, and saw the girls, both on their backs, tits exposed.
The elder girl, Hatty, was in a bikini slip, the younger Bina, wore denim cut off shorts. Hatty had nice rounded tits with fat pink nipples, a stark contrast to her deep rich coffee skin. Bina had beautiful perky breasts with small teats.
I said "Hi" and frightened the daylights out of them.
They both grabbed for their tops, which was a hilarious scene. I said "Don't bother on my account. I'veseen you both like this before."
"How come?" says Hatty.
"From my window," i said and indicated.
She gasped. "You fucking pervert. Wait till I tell mum and dad."
"And let them know when they go to work you strip off and sun bathe? Your mum won't like that."
They were quite strict. I hadn't even seen boys visit the house - or any friends at all to be frank.
"if you like, " I continued, "You can see something of mine."
"Like what" asked Bina,
"Come over here and look over."
As they approached, I hastily unhoooked the tie on my shorts and dropped them to the floor. My erection bobbed out, long and thick
"Oh my fucking god," squealed Hatty. "oooooo" whsipered Bina.
They stared at me for a long time and I started to wank with one hand "Wanna try this?" I asked
"We shouldn't." Hatty was clearly in charge. Bina was whispering at her sisters ear. Hatty may have been nominally in control, but her little sister was pulling the strings.
They consdiered a bit. I stopped wanking and pulled up my shorts. "Maybe some other time then."
"No, now," said Bina.
i love young girls, they so innocent and naive. They do the dumbest things.
"Come on then. Come over and I'll show you how it works."
With Hatty reluctantly in her wake, Bina ran around the front drives and, eyes all agog, stood on the patio expectantly. Hatty was trying to grab her wrist and stop her, but it was too late for either girl to not look. I was sitting now on the bench and totally nude I was stroking my massive cock, its whole ten inches looking hugely impressive. They just stood and watched as I jerked for about five minutes. They moved closer, but not so near they could touch me. When I felt the urge, I told them I was going to cum and pointed my cock directly at them. My jizz spurted across the gap in big white strings and splattered on the paving stones. They jumped back to avoid it. I have a heavy load and I was cumming for a good thirty seconds.
"Shit," said Bina, "That was amazing."
"if you show me your tits, I'll do it again."
"I don't know," hatty was still being prissy.
"Come on, Hat, It'll be fine. He's always been nice. Yous aid yourself how much you faniced him."
"Bina!"
That was sort of it. Now they argued again. I took the initiative, got off my seat and flicked at Bina's bra catch. She squealed and jumped as her bra fell away in my hand. She chased me, hatty in pursuit and I ran about naked for a few seconds until I let them catch me. Now we were all sort of play fighting and they got to accidentally rub against my cock. I squeezed Bina's tits. She screamed. A silly girly scream. Hatty tried to stop me, but I had her from behind and was grappling with the front catch on her bra. She reached back and pulled my cock. I grunted. She kept pulling. I released my hold on her, and she still pulled. I was getting hard. Bina saw it and she started to pull as well. I lay back and the two girls, one topless, one not, started to wank me. It wasdelicious. I tried to make one of them suck it but they wouldn't. Eventually I came again, thsi time all over my chest.
I need to wash this off" I said afterwards. They sat there whispering to each other, on their knees while I sprayed the hose all over my body.
I directed the water at them and they scrfeamed again and I chased them around with the hose soaking them.
After they'd managed to subdue me again, I said they needed to get out of their costumes.
"No way!" said Hatty. "You just want to see us naked."
"Yes. fairs Fair."
She sulked. Then, without urging, Bina started to peel off her shorts.
"No Bina, dont be silly."
"Oh shut up hat, You spoil everything."
Bina watched me as she undressed, first the shorts, thena pair of practical white undies, probably from M&S Kids. My cock grew again and she grinnned. "See what happens!" she said pointing.
She loooked gorgeous, with her cute hairless pussy exposed.
It was all i could do to start wanking again. "That's what you do to me, Bina." You're so sexy"
"Come on HAt, please, show me your tits," I pleaded, "I'll come again for you."
I was sounding like a schoolboy. Hat shrugged and pulled a face. Slowly, reluctantly, she took off ehr bra and flashed her boobs at me. Bina had taken hold of my cock again and her head was edging closer to it. I felt for her hair, which was shoulder length, and took hold. I moved her head inexorably towards my cok and automatically she opened her mouth and started to suck the end.
"Oh Bina, stop." was all hatty could say, She went to grab her sister, but Bina shoved her aside, the effect making her bite my cock.
"Ow!"
She was so apologetic.
"You need to pay a forfeit. Or rather your sister does, it was her fault."
"No, we're leaving," said Hatty.
"No, you won't. I said. You could have left ages ago, but you're still here, you like it."
She didn't leave,
"Take off your bottoms."
"No."
"Go on, Hat," said Bin, "Its fine" She was stroking my cock again like a pro.
Reluctantly - even more reluctant than last time - those bikini bottoms came off. Hatty had a beautiful hairless shaven pussy with a plump mound and a pair of fat engorged lips hanging from her cunt. She was horny. This was turninmg her on.
Bina sucked my cock again and I lay back and simply gestured for Hatty to hold my hand. She took it and then, without encouragement, she knelt opposite her sis and sarted to lick my shaft and balls. (I always shave) I knew a third cumw as due soon, I was so excited but I ahd to do more than just wank now. I too was so horny. I reached out and squeezed Hatty's full boobs. She didn't resist. She sighed. Bina now had four inched of cock in her mouth. "Come here, " I said and got her to twist around so her legs were ove rmy face. My tongue speare dup at her little slit. iw as surprised to find it positively dripping with cunt juice. Hatty said nothing. We did thsi for a while and I felt Bina's lips exit my prod to be replaced by hatty's fully, plumper mouth. Above me I could just make out Bina playing with her tiny tits. The girls were talking in Sri lankan. Finaly, in English, Bina said, "You must, you ahve to go first, haty, your the older one."
Bina got off my face and I was welcomed by the sight of a beautiful naked Hatty crawling up my body, her cunt open for business and slick as the sea. Slowly delicately she lowered herself onto my fuck stick and breathed out long andhard. I lasted all of a minute, which must have been very disappointing for her, but I was too far gone. I pumped another enormous gush into her gash and she smiled and collapsed on top of me and hugged me.
"Oh I wanted this so much, " she said "So much."
We stayed like that as I went soft. "Sorry i was a prude. I'm so nervous. Mum won't let us do anything."
"Well anytime you wanna do anything, come round and we can do whatever you want." I reached for Bina's body and my arm circled her. "And you too, Bina."
"I want to do it now."
"You'll have to wait a bit I've cum too much."
In the event i couldn't take BIna's virgin pussy that afternoon as we didn't have time before their mum came home. Hatty became a regular visitor to my studio. Bina became the first underage girl I photographed naked - in fact my first nude shoot. She was the most outrageous and she introduced me to many of her friends which allowed me to begin regular photo and fuck sessions with young naive girls. Even though my life adventures have been wild, I remember that first experience as clear as the summer's day.
#sex #threesomes #oral #mothers #young #preteen #abuse #addiction #greed #lust #obsession #shamelessness #interracial #teen #shaved #cum #bareback
I've been sleeping with my new girlfriend for about a month now. Unbeknownst to me, she had never cum from having sex. She came from my eating her out, but not fucking. She admitted this to me and at the same time admitted a fetish she had that was the only way she could cum from fucking. She loves her tits abused. They are D cups with areolae that are about 2" wide and pencil eraser nipples that grow to about 1/2 inch long and get a little fatter when aroused. I have pulled her nipples while pinching them so hard I thought I would hurt her but she won't let me stop. I've pulled her tits by her nipples up to her face, then twisted the hell out of her nips. Her favorite which she ask for right before I fuck her is to have her standing, then I take one tit by the nipple, pinching very hard, and pull it up as far out and up as I can, then take my free hand and slap it out of my grasp.
I do this about 10 times to each tit and she is begging to get fucked. Her tits are so bruised but she loves it. I don't know how I'll ever go back to being gentle to some other girls tits.
I am going to forget I ever met you! I mean that. I am just going to forget that part of my life when I thought you were around, because if you were or not around, you really weren't with me or for me, or about me. nor did you care about me. you came to cause trouble and you did. that is all to be said. I owe you nothing and I hate you. I just pretend now I never met you. you can always "well it looked them but maybe it wasn't" weird world. that protects my ass. but for the wiccian abusing me nothing will save their ass !!!!
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