Wordplay Bashes

A lion would never cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood.

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Be the life and soul of the party by drinking alone in a cemetery.

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Just broke up a fight between a big swan and a small swan. I said to the big swan pick on someswan your own size

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Isn't it ironic that Superman's kryptonite is kryptonite.

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Never date demons. They get very possessive.

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If you cut through someone's ankles during a fight, have you de-feeted him?

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When I die, they'll say "He lived his life like a candle in the wind, constantly getting blown."

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It should be perfectly acceptable to give girls with their thongs hanging out wedgies.

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The Missionary position is pretty laid back.

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Unlike clothes, fat jokes are difficult to grow out of.

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Grammar news: A man has been found guilty of overusing commas, the judge warned him to expect a very long sentence.

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You don't have to be a Doctor to have patience.

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If you're thinking what I'm thinking then you're not thinking.

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I love you, I love you with all my heart and soul. If I had a donut, I'd give you the hole.

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I’m sick of gravity always bringing us down.

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I'd like to thank my skeletal system for all the support its given me over the years.

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I’m sorry I ate all the chips. It was a snaccident.

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If his hands aren't all over you and clothes aren't coming off within the first two minutes... He's not into you

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I always carry around a can of pepper spray, in case anyone tries to a-salt me.

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Immortality jokes never get old.

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