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Read the best funny quotes and bashes with tag #relationship
It's crucial to have that one friend with flaws and failures similar to yours, but worse.
Girls only like you if they know you have a girlfriend, or at least that's what my girlfriend's best friend just whispered in my ear.
A true relationship is when you can tell each other anything and everything. No secrets and no lies.
I tell my girlfriend not to worry too much about how they look when she finally gets around to wrapping her own presents.
There is so much hate in me at the moment for my ex-wife that the house is experiencing poltergeist activity... which is kinda cool.
It's never too early in a relationship to text someone "I love you, I miss you, I want to straddle your face and ride it like a racehorse."
Every relationship has its problems but what makes it perfect is when you still want to be there when everything sucks.
Before Twitter, how would I have known my soulmate was a 53 yr old man pretending to be a 28 yr old woman outside Milwaukee?
Successful relationships take hard work and two people who really want to be together.
There will never be a 'Previously On' preview where my stoner husband doesn't say, 'We've seen this one.'
All I want is a woman who can kill a few zombies for me & then make me dinner, is that really too much to ask?
Have to go now. My girlfriend has that could-you-please-stop-using-that-computer-for-three-seconds look on her face
I'm ready to settle down, get a girlfriend, and hate her more with each passing day. It's time.
LOVE TIP: Don't get too close to your partner in pictures so they don't look retarded when you crop them after the breakup.
Fact: If a mans ex's are all "crazy" it won't be long before he is calling you crazy too.
The only thing worse than the idea of you, is knowing that someday I will only have a memory of you.