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Read the best funny quotes and bashes with tag #crap
The problem is not that you have problems. The problem is thinking that your problems are a problem...... to me. Pfft!
#crap
People that can open individual blister packs of medicine without scissors: we need to hang out more.
#crap
Honestly, I'm sorry about the potpourri. But if you want me to stop eating it, stop inviting me over.
#crap
Somebody drove by the park today listening to a Sarah McLachlan song & I reflexively kicked a puppy in the face.
#crap
I'm going to be in sooo much trouble if the tooth fairy starts doing DNA testing on these teeth I've been placing under my pillow.
#crap
"One more photo of your baby's foot and I'm going to.. I'm going to NOT click the like button."- Me, scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed.
#crap
When your girl lets you know she doesn’t have panties on under a great dress, there’s really not much else you’re gonna think about.
#crap
If laying in bed the past 4 days has taught me anything, it's that I really need to clean the jizz off my fan, dresser, cat, and neighbor.
#crap
If you mean years of financial and emotional stress with brief moments of joy and finally death, then yes, everything is going to be OK.
#crap
When someone replies “NO!” to me asking “Know what I think?” I tell them anyway because that shit's hilarious...
#crap
Thank you all for the kind words, support and love. I'm doing great. Headed home shortly and then back to work.
#crap